WHY THE ABUSE VICTIMS ARE UPSET
Thomas P. Doyle, O.P., J.C.D.

I have been a priest for 32 years. When I was ordained I never dreamed that I would see what I have seen in the official Catholic church and in the priesthood. Like thousands of priests the world over, I have been shocked, angered, scandalized, saddened and depressed by the never-ending saga of sexual abuse by deacons, priests and bishops. I first became involved nearly 18 years ago. I still vividly recall the sickening feeling of disbelief as I saw the cover-ups and deception happen before my very eyes. I recall my acutely painful reaction when I saw a photo of an admitted serial abuser in a jail cell...a photo printed in a major weekly news magazine. That day it really hit home just how serious this problem was...and still is.

As the years have unfolded my involvement evolved. By the late eighties I was being asked to serve as an expert witness in civil court cases but also asked to provide canon law assistance to priests accused and often abandoned by their bishops. But the most important step in this saga was the fact that I not only met but got to know the victims and their families. Since then I have become closely allied with many of the victims and victims-turned-survivors. I believe that I know them as no other priest knows them. I have learned to have a deep respect and admiration for their courage, their tenacity and their commitment to help each other survive and find spiritual peace. The church community and the clergy have generally marginalized them, much as society often holds alcoholics at a distance. The victims and survivors are not 'different' or 'peculiar' in any way. They are our brothers and sisters, our nieces and nephews, our classmates and students and in some cases, they are our brother priests.

I have learned that the victims and survivors do not trust the institutional church or anyone associated with it, especially bishops and priests. Why? Because they once trusted totally and even blindly and this trust was not only betrayed but repaid by sexual abuse which leaves a shattering wound so deep that it never heals, and continues to bring pain for the rest of their lives.

I have learned that they are angry, and rightly so. They are angry at the clerics who abused them because of the humiliation, the pain, the isolation and the depressing robbery of self esteem that are integral to sexual abuse. But that anger is eclipsed by a much deeper anger towards the bishops and other institutional leaders. To these the victims looked for belief, for compassion, for support, for assurance that they were not abandoned for speaking out.  To their amazement and shock were met with intimidation, disbelief, threats, rejection and  even brutalization through the nightmarish legal process. None turned to the civil courts to get even or get money. They turned to the civil courts as a last resort to find justice because they could not find it in their church.  Would that this were true only of the past but it is not.  In spite of the public expressions of sympathy and concern, the rejection, mistrust and brutalization still goes on.

I have watched as the victims are re-victimized and made to suffer even more for having had the courage to come forward, denounce their abusers and demand justice from their bishops. They are re-victimized by demeaning and demoralizing court processes replete with every road block, stumbling block and body block that the church lawyers can dream up. They have been re-victimized by their fellow "good and faithful" Catholics who have rejected them, ridiculed them, accused them, shunned them. Why?  Because they had the audacity to cause a crack to happen in the righteous' vision of the 'ideal' church. This too is not just past history. It continues!

They are being re-victimized by Catholic writers and so-called scholars who trivialize them by trying to avoid the harsh reality of their abuse through blame shifting and denial. This group tries to attribute the scandal to everything from the imaginary spirit of dissent that sprung forth from Vatican II, to the free love movement of the seventies, to the alleged homosexual influence in the church, to present day 'dissenters' who simply don't think as they do.  The more outrageous pundits lay the blame at the feet of the secular press as if the messengers of corruption made the corruption. The secular press has, in fact, done the Catholic church an invaluable service by forcing the terrible cancer of clergy sex abuse and cover-up to the surface.  The press continues to probe and expose because the problem and its causes continue.

By far the most disgusting form of re-victimization is the implication, direct or subtle, that the victims brought it all on themselves or actively seduced these otherwise 'innocent and naive' abuser-clerics. Those who make such incredible assertions either have no understanding at all of the dynamics of sexual abuse or, they bring a new depth to the meaning of 'callous.'

The victims are re-victimized by those who refuse to believe just how devastating clergy sexual abuse is to the mind, body and soul. When people complain that many of the suits are about events that happened years ago, they totally fail to comprehend two things: that the destruction and pain is still present and has negatively impacted the victims' lives and, that many victims simply could not disclose their abuse until recently. Why? Because they were convinced (and rightly so) that no one would believe them, that they would suffer grievous spiritual punishment for accusing a priest and that the institutional church would support the accused rather than the accuser.  The Catholic culture itself created a high level of emotional duress for victims.  Many have suffered for decades, believing that nothing could or would be done to help them. They continue to wait in vain for recognition, belief and a sincere apology. Even today when victims come forward they are often treated as suspects by the clergy rather than  victims. 

They are upset by the various expressions of support for the 'faithful' priests.  Yet when victims and survivors see websites and newspaper ads boldly supporting this majority they are angry. These priests have not had their innocence violently robbed.  They have not had their spirituality ripped apart nor have they been shunned because they had the courage to step forward and disclose the incredible harm done to them.  Many rightly ask where were all these priests over the past years as the evidence of widespread abuse came out. Where were the letters of complain to the Vatican? Where was the organized support of lay people?  Where were the Knights of Columbus and other Catholic organizations? Rarely if ever did anyone come forward to cry out for compassionate pastoral care or true justice for the real casualties of this whole despicable scandal.

Cardinals and bishops have publicly admitted the discomfort and worry they have experienced in the past years and months. The pope has commiserated with his brother bishops over their pain. None have come close to experiencing the devastation and loss that the victims have lived through. True, all have made the obligatory gestures of shock, outrage and apology to the victims but these are hollow because the re-victimization continues on a widespread scale and until it completely stops the victims and survivors will remain angry, devoid of trust and increasingly alienated from the institutional church. The bishops cannot claim to be caring and compassionate for the 'least of my brethren' while at the same time the church lawyers continue to brutalize victims. They cannot claim to extend all possible help while behind the scenes they scramble to find ways to shelter and hide diocesan assets to avoid payment of damages.

The priests cannot moan about their collective embarrassment while they continue to shun those few of their brothers who have had the courage to speak up and call for justice for the victims. They have expressed concern that the accused do not receive due process. Yet they do not demand the same due process for the abuse victims who have been systematically denied it for decades. They...we...cannot expect our vocation to be looked on with universal respect for it is the clergy and not the laity or the victims who caused this bottomless wound in the souls of thousands of victims and in the church itself. The surest way to restore some semblance of respect is to have the courage as individuals and as a group to cease being defensive and commence being truly compassionate to the victims. Equally important,  to cease being timid and fearful and demand that institutional leaders set aside their worries about preserving the financial resources, safe-guarding orthodoxy, restoring their own vanished respect and authority and reach out and try to heal the most important people in today's church, those whom it has victimized.

September 21, 2002